At the intersection of writing and life with the author of the Cameron Ballack mysteries

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Twenty Days of Comfort

It seems that various people like to do things for stretches of time, most notably items like Rick Warren's "Forty Days of Purpose" or when others do some sort of 30 days of thanksgiving thingy on Facebook. So I'm diving in, but for a different reason. 

We are twenty days out from an anniversary of the most life-shifting event in our family's existence. It's an understatement to say that when we suddenly lost our youngest child--our 19-month old son, Jordan Christopher--on November 23, 2008, our lives changed forever. Through the pain that followed, we went through what can only be described as sheer hell, and I don't use that word lightly. Ultimately, we've come to see a larger part to the story, and that Jordan's life--though short--made impact on so many others. I can honestly say that Jordan taught me more about the free, completely accepting love of God than anyone else has (and I went to seminary!).

In recalling his short life, I decided about three years ago to write a poetry book that looked at different events of Jordan's life through his eyes. As the five-year anniversary of his heavenly homegoing approaches, I've been looking back over those pages of verse because in revisiting the pain of that loss, I strangely and eventually find comfort that Jordan's life was wonderful, sacred, and full of hope and joy. His name, incredibly enough, seemed to embody a mission God seemed to write into his DNA. Jordan Christopher means "one who comes down and brings Jesus."

So in going down memory lane, I've decided to select an array of poems from that volume I penned, and share one per day up through November 23rd. As you read them, you'll notice references about God, Jesus, salvation, etc. These are not designed to convert others. Your beliefs are your own. I'm merely taking literary license and giving expression from what could be Jordan's perspective. I'm not saying there was some sort of "infant faith" already present in Jordan's hypothetical musings. My imagination runs thusly: Jordan--in heaven--looks back upon the events of his short earthly mission and relives those moments. In doing so, he "connects the dots." He speaks of God's grace, not as if he knew that's what it was at the time, but because now he realizes that hand was upon his life all along. He tells these stories, not as if he was calling for God, but because God had been calling him.

No poem is Keats- or Shakespearean-level quality, and a range of meters and styles (or lack thereof) abound. But each poem is special to me because it shows God at work in the life of a special child who now enjoys His presence at all times. What will follow over the coming weeks are the words of his life journey. I hope in some way they will give you fresh hope for your own journey as well.

First poem is tomorrow, as Jordan leaves the "Darkness".

1 comment:

Jon Atkins said...

I look forward to reading and learning a bit more about your son who I never got to meet, at least on this side of glory.